Fav Five Songs You Won’t Hear On The Radio

My five fav songs you won’t here on the radio.

Randy Newman, award winning song writer and author of many songs from the show Cop Rock.

Randy Newman, award winning song writer and author of many songs from the show Cop Rock.


5: Cop Rock- Lets Be Careful Out there



A Randy Newman classic! A melody that is as contagious as Hep C., and a conventional narrative. That is not the only thing that makes this song as amazing as it is, but the humour is priceless. The police chief announces at the beginning: Ok, that’s it, oh, and by the way…There was a 187, rape, robbery, arson, a 211, 6 459, 2 18W, a GTA, and several miscellaneous crimes, and there is a modern-day Robinhood, amongst other things, and I put it all to a music! The fact he adds it at the end, as a footnote of sorts, its like: how did you forget the murder, rape and GTA? You didn’t mention that early? And why do you keep repeating “Homicide, arson, robbery and rape”, you said it like five times man! We got it the first time.

Still… its catchy.


4: Teen Witch’s Friend- Top That



The Beastie Boys? Nope… Teen Witch’s friend is the first Jewish rapper! Rhet most likely thought that he was “hot”, and surely doubted that anybody would be able to “top that”, considering how “funky” he is, but when Teen Witch casts her spell, this beautiful woman shows that she has more than just beautiful, ravenous, dark, curly hair: she’s got some mad-wack free-stylin’ M.C. skills, and busts out some rhymes that would impress all three members of J.J. Fadd!


3: A Get It Right Productions: Big-Ass Titties (The Lohan Freestyle)




Lohan? Haley Barry? Mariah? Angelina Jolie? Yup… they all got big-ass titties. And anybody who is hotter than a brother that is wearing four sweaters has to know what he’s talking about. Some steady crunkish beat with a Unsolved-Mysteries-esque instrumentation playing in the back ground? A perfect back drop to talk about big breasts. And Ashley Simpson lip-synching on a… oh, and don’t get her confused with Bart Simpson, or Marge Simpson. Picard calling for men to find ‘those titties’, and E.T. poking some cleavage with his magical finger. I can watch this video 50 times in a row and not get tired of it.

Also see: Homewrecker- Angelina Jolie:





2: Riskay- Let Me Smell Yo Dick

Female hip-hop artist Riskay.

Female hip-hop artist Riskay.



We’ve all been in this situation. You’re waiting up for the significant other, end up falling asleep after texting with a full automatic cell phone more times than you can count, only to be woken up at 5:00 am. Obviously something is going on. So what do you say: “Let me smell yo dick” of course. You want to get new pussy? That’s fine, but“Don’t fuck hers and then try to fuck mine”? Damn right! Don’t play me like a fool! Do you know how many times I’ve had girlfriends come home and refuse to let me smell their vaginas? And I wasn’t even suspicious of anything, I just wanted to smell it, whilst play a track that sounded like it was lifted from Wyclef’s “Perfect Gentlemen”. Yet they would never let me! Gee-wiz!


1: Amri Ja Danny- I Want To Love You Tender





The brilliant harmonies, candy-sweet melodies and eternal message: You love me today, but what about tomorrow? Is that what life is all about? And on top of that, the dude singing the male end of the duet looks like Prince Adam of Eternia! And the choreography? It was like something Wade Robson spent months getting down. The dual human-merry-go-rounds that look as though they are supposed to be centered, but somehow the one on the right of the screen takes over. The All-New-Dance-Show-esque runway dance, when Danny drops back only to fling his body forward to clear the space behind him where Amri has magically appeared from seemingly nowhere? PRICELES!!! Its has been labelled “The Worst Video Ever”. Yeah, right, more like GREAT VIDEO OF ALL TIME!!!!!!


Honourable Mention: Notarapper- Read A Book (I got this one on my Ipod)



And Antoin Dodson-  Bedroom Intruder


Rambler About Rambler

Jason John Horn is a writer and critic who recently completed his Master's in English Literature at the University of Windsor. He has composed a play, a novella and a number of short stories and satirical essays.

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