Fav Five: Catalog Songs (aka Patter Songs)

Catalogs in general are pretty boring (with the exceptions of the Sears Winter catalog, which as a child I used to pour through with a pen, circling all the toys I wanted Santa to bring me).  The phone book.  the periodic table.  Menus.  Not generally very exciting things. There are however, some very clever and catchy tunes that employ catalogs to entertain.  These are my fav five (and though they are numbered, there is no particular order to them).

The Animaniacs were masters of the catalog songs.

The Animaniacs were masters of the catalog songs.

5: The End Of The World As We Know It: R.E.M.

 

 

The Book Of Revelations makes the end of the world sound so bad, what with the plagues and rivers of blood and all, and while R.E.M.’s interpretation of the things that will happen at the end of the world isnt all that great, it is a lot catchier.

 

4: One More Minute: Weird Al

 

Classic break-up song! A list of things Weird Al would rather do than spend one minute with the woman who broke his heart.  And if you like this one, try “The Brady Bunch”, a list of things Weird Al would rather watch than The Brady Bunch:

 

3.The Ultimate Showdown- Albino Black Sheep (?)

 

 

A list of some of our fav heroes and villains put to a catchy tune and animation so bad its laughable.  What is not to love about this song?

 

 

2: The Element Song- Tom Lehrer

 

 

Who ever thought that the elements of the periodic table could be turned into a catchy song that entertains?  It also serves as a great studying tool for those in high school science classes.

 

1: Nations Of The World- The Animaniacs

 

 

Perhaps the thing I enjoy most about this song is the fact that in Yakko’s world, there is room for Israel AND Palestine. If only Yakko Warner could conduct peace talks between the two, then at last we could have peace in the middle east!

 

Honourable mention to Billie Joel’s “We Didn’t Start The Fire”.

And Hard and Phirm’s: Pi

 

Rambler About Rambler

Jason John Horn is a writer and critic who recently completed his Master's in English Literature at the University of Windsor. He has composed a play, a novella and a number of short stories and satirical essays.

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