Uncle Eric’s Sunday School

  “That’s not what really happened, that’s jus’ what tha preacher tells ya!’  My uncle Eric was more than a little crass, and every Sunday we could expect some sort of lecture about why we wasted the past two hours by going to church.  “You’d a been better off settin’ right here an’ watchin’ football […]

Hollywood Revisits: The Greatest Story Ever Told

Jesus was a ninja, trained by his stepfather Joseph (whose actual name was Miyamoto Musashi, a name he changed when he move to Galilee in hopes to fit in with the Middle Eastern culture).  For nearly thirty years Jesus trained under the tutelage of Musashi who himself had been trained by his own father before […]

Young Love

My ornery, lanky limbs clumsily climbed over her, a mop of messy hair falling onto my oily forehead, obscuring some of the acne that covered most of my face.  She smiled nervously behind a veil of freckles and guided me toward her.  My pants were half off and my penis stood eagerly erect, rooted in […]

The First Meeting

I pick my nose and eat it, but only when the snot is dried up and crusty.  When I wipe my ass, not only do I look at it, I take a sniff.  When I perspire, I like to wipe the ball sweat out from under my testicles and sniff that too.  I do the […]

The Angel’s Trumpet

The Salvia, a name derived from the Latin salvare, meaning to heal, is a plant common to North America, and is a kind of sage that shoots up straight and tall, and looks like an miniature, anorexic Christmas tree, only violet-blue instead of forest green.  This isn’t what Billy told me, this is what I […]

Clowns

As a young teenager I would leave for school every weekday morning equipped with the tools my mother felt I needed to endure the day‘s tribulations: a stomach filled with bacon and eggs, a school bag filled with pens, pencils, note books, and text books, a brown paper bag filled with two bologna sandwiches, a […]

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